Divorce, Remarriage, and Separation

The Bible has a lot to say about divorce, remarriage, and separation.

In my own situation, I have received counsel from one extreme to the other: Some said separation or divorce is never right under any circumstances, and that God will make a way out. The other extreme is that I was told it was sin for me to stay in a marriage partnership in the situation I was in. I do not believe either extreme is true.

I give you these principles upon which I based my own personal decision to get a legal separation:

Pray, pray, pray.

Study the Scriptures yourself and ask God to show you his will for your situation.

Divorce or separation are not God's choice for us.

Sin, ours and that of our mate, prevent us from being able to always enjoy God's choice for us.

God knew ahead of time this would happen and he intervened to provide us hope.

God will not lead you to throw your marriage away or to separate or divorce simply because you are not happy in your present situation.

There are situations where divorce or separation are permissible in the Bible.

Seek help from a few trusted Christians whom you know to be mature in the Lord either locally, through books, or via the net.

Do not give the details of your situation out indiscriminately. Protect your husband's dignity with your words and actions regardless of what has transpired in your marriage.

Refuse to follow the advice of any one person in order to keep from hurting their feelings, or to get their praise or support.

Weigh it all and allow God time to put it all together and show you his will.

He will help you find peace with the action he desires you to take.

Follow through, trusting the Lord to be your guide.

Always be open to God's changing plans in mid stream.

Never give up on your husband. Continue to pray for him. I know someone who did this even after her husband had divorced and remarried. She prayed for him, and even prayed for his new wife to find Christ.

She knows that her marriage will not be put back together because of his remarriage, yet God gave her the burden and the love to pray for someone who had deserted her for another and for the woman who had torn her own marriage in shreds.

God honored her faithfulness in prayer when her former husband's new wife found Christ!

Look to Jesus all the way. He has given us an example that we should follow in his steps.

Do not allow Satan to ensnare you with guilt. Do what God says now. Give the past to him. He will take it and free you to live in the future with hope and peace.

It would seem that my life would be a test, a test to see if I would follow no matter what.  It has been the hardest test I have would ever endeavor in.  I would take many wrong paths but in the end I would submit to Gods will completely.  But as Ecclesiastes teaching us in the old testament everything of this world is meaningless If God is not in the forefront of everything.  And for many years of my calling I would not have my priorities in the correct place.  I admit I am still struggling with this, but my walk with Christ is maturing and God is proud of me.  He thinks I am worth it when no one else did.

Pastor Craig Sicilia