Many times people with disabilities are ignored, excluded and even exploited and abused, So it is not wonder they isolate and hide from others they do not have the skill to succeed in such an environment, and when one is acquired it makes it worse the one they use to love usually leave one by one and when they leave they punish that person because they don’t understand they are not doing it on purpose, with so many of our vets coming home with these hidden disabilities society is going to make them ashamed and not get the help they need because they look fine, but as their lives fall apart piece by piece either because of TBI or PTSD no one tries to understand and the believe it is an act for some purpose, let us pray for all with hidden disabilities the pain society puts on them is overwhelming and sometime those services supporting them do not know the journey they don’t hire people living it rather people who’s sole purpose it to profit from it, let us pray for the light to shine on these lives and guide them to make it out of the dark
Life is funny, sometimes our purpose has nothing to do about us, as bad as that can hurt it just is what it is, not sure how long one can live being totally numb inside, wanting to love again but the signals and connections no longer connect because of a brain injury and how I lived my life, it comes down to i let someone else be the priority rather than myself and when that falls apart it becomes hard to see what God has in mind, but through the extreme loss, pain and a life time of abandonment it is clear, how could I have been so blind for so long, not to see all the pain in so many… It is our task to give them comfort and help them understand a better way of life, at the same time filling our own hearts with the peace that comes from being a servant, but i must wonder how life could have been if i only could have found that balance… if i will ever find that balance again.. one can only hope as we continue down the path of ministering to those who need something, anything looking into the faces, hearts and souls of man if we to will one day find our peace along the path… Good luck to everyone and remember you cannot out run Gods destiny you might be able to stall it but when it catches up to you, you will be bound to submission of this journey.. do you best. love with out condition and take joy in the tasks set out for you
One thing i dont regret since my brain injury that is that I really loved the life I had, I was improving the way I lived, I became a giver of men rather than a taker…. It took so many years from a really messed up childhood from foster-home to foster home till my wonderful grandmother took me in, even though it was way more that she could handle but she did it anyway. Took me in and did the best she could, only because my options sucked… I didn’t know it then or even years to come. But that lesson would sit in my soul till it was my time. You see my grans helped anyone and everyone she really was a saint and I guess i try to copy that, or maybe i am just one messed up individual. But as I was getting my life where it needed to be, I had a brain injury that completely changed my personality for years and I am not the same person who I used to be, I am better because I do what I do because I know deep inside it is right, and I have been blessed to be guided to be apart of helping people learn to help others.
The harsh reality is I still wish often that i died or was dead, that it is unfair, That I don’t want this life, not sure what it is that i think i want its been more than 5 years since the change, since I had my marbles all mixed up… I am making the best of it but it is hard, I have such a hard time trusting, I want someone special in my life and I think there is someone in the picture who could be that, but age, my injury and all this other stuff boggles my mind, and I am this emotional wreck I had my complete essence pulled out teased taunted and destroyed by a person who i loved.. I think love might not mean anything and that scares me from the very breathe i take. As I spin lost with in myself, I try to make sense of all this – it is so harsh how life really is, but if we don’t put ourselves out their we die alone
Just Like I am