READY TO GO HOME
BY Pastor Craig Sicilia
Always dead
Always wishing
Sometimes feeling
Sometimes numb
The pain consumes my soul
Every deed I did make
I look in the mirror
All I see is death
My time here is short this I know
All I need to do is follow the plan
Though I may not understand
I know that this is the way
Who would have thought I could be so noble
But the truth of it all is that I followed the trail
Did what I thought was right from that day
And all I really want to do is run away
My fear consumes me each day I live
My passion drives me each day I do not die
When everything is said and done
All we really have are the lives we touched
Though through my path I have hurt many
I hope those who I have helped out weighed those I hurt
As this life fades to the light
I dream of endless new thing in store
Everything new and incredible each and every day
This is exactly why I say
I am ready can’t you see
Just lead the way
So I can see
The vast power of God, is amazing, how He can create sufficient energy to accomplish so many things if that is His desire, and how He can use us to fulfill this destiny of bringing His people together and creating a better tomorrow, we all have to live with the reality of the design of our life’s works, and I now know how hard the people we love can be, and for some who never know love that is to be loved, as it turns out they have the most love to offer, and circumstances mold His world and bring pieces of happiness and goodness, as the world erodes right before and there become fewer and fewer, and as we feel the toll on our hearts and minds, we march forward showing His Love, His one true ministry which was that of giving ones self good luck on your trails
Sometimes the world, or the universe or what ever you want to call it takes everything away from you including yourself, to lose access to ones self to lose your connections to bonds that were once your life. To be alone and to follow this path of the universe. It can be quit isolating, scary and lonely journey but these forces pull you into this new self, it is one of the weirdest things to watch your life be torn apart and turned into this new person with this new purpose. Usually a traumatic circumstance is what sends our lives spinning into this new dimension, it can be a loss, a change of circumstance, in my case it was a brain injury and as i was discovering who i was or was turning into everyone in my life could not accept this new me, but my changes was not eloquent like a caterpillar into a butterfly but like a violent volcano into a rugged land scape to be molded into something beautiful, but as we know that type of change takes time and is an instant change into nothingness but sometimes everything we are and were needs to be stripped away to to bring about the change that the universe needs. In my case the universe is my God and Jesus. And my hard loveless life was by design to create positive change in the future, it took most of my life to understand how to follow this path, and as i travel it or try to travel it I take many wrong turns but as i learn the journey amazing things happen its a new birth once we submit and accept this, but the world will persecute you, and human nature will fight the light only wanting to stay what they think is safe in the dark afraid of the light. I am just like the rest of you on this journey I spend much time in pain from the abandonment of my bonds that were safe, and I ponder on the past but what is important is keeping our eyes on the light following this path that the universe my God has put in front of me, but for me if I would have stayed on the path I was on I would have been forgotten in the dark, now i get to travel in the light till i can one day rest in my home, with my Jesus know finally knowing what it is to be loved and never to feel pain again and to have pleased my Jesus as He tells me he is pleased with me, that is all i ever needed to be loved and to please my father, though I spent years searching in all the wrong places, ever so lost, I was lost but now I am found. Follow your heart read your history the bible, fellowship and follow this path that only your trained heart can feel and see
Sometimes life can tare down ones soul and very essence of who we are. To the point where we can no longer love again, no longer trust or connect with people in our lives. You can be surrounded by hundreds even thousands of people and still feel alone. Unable to connect with society. This does not mean you cannot make a difference in the world. Improve peoples lives in ways that are incredible. The only time the pain is not there is when you are doing Gods work. I do not know if the is temporary or permanent. I can tell you it is exhausting and takes everything you can find with in yourself to continue. You will have days where you ask God to please let your journey be over. But as well you will feel that feeling inside knowing what you are doing what is His will, as hard as it can be it is worth it. It is amazing beyond your wildest belief. His amazing power in lives of people who have had such a harsh road through life it can be hard to imagine that He has a purpose for them to, for me. But He does, it’s scary how intensely powerful and meaningful his journeys can be, follow Him, even when you are lost and cannot find your way, He will show you the way, it make take a life time but this journeys end will be beyond your dreams
